In this week’s episode of #WithChude, actress and TV host, Chinonso Arubayi opens up to host Chude Jideonwo about dealing with grief, struggling with social expectations, and her faith following the sudden death of her husband, Eric Arubayi who passed on 3 years after their marriage, in February 2017 at the age of 34 due to complications arising from the administration of expired malaria drugs.
“How am I going to deal with this, God? This is not what you promised me,” Chinonso said, revealing that she felt slighted by God while she struggled to meet society’s expectations of how she must grieve.
I fell into depression. I felt judged.
I’ll hear things like, “she was not crying.” Were you there when I was crying? Must I cry in front of you? Me I like to just be smiling in front of people, I can go and cry later. So don’t judge me by how or the moment you see me in if you don’t see me cry. There are so many ways the society expects you to grieve in Africa.
At that point, I was trying to please society. So I was like, what am I supposed to do? Some people said to wear white, some said to wear black, and some said you don’t have to [because] you’re a Christian. It was too many opinions and everybody is telling you how to grieve or what you’re doing wrong or right.
Read more here or watch the full interview at watch.withchude.com